next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
