hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
