erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
