nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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