I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
