did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
