their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
