Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
