he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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