my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Holy sore nipples Batman
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
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