So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
