So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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