her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Randomize
