btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
