Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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