xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize