See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
