Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
