I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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