My brain says no but my pants say off.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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