remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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