I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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