What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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