he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
