Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
