Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
