You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
