Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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