I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
