seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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