So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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