my being single is dangerous.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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