i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
