Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
