Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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