so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
