An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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