garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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