my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
i think im in europe. pls send help
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
