when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
