I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
