who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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