So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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