I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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