just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
