yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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