what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
