Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
