You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
