theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
