Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
