After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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