We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Randomize
