Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
