where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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