I cockslap morals
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize