I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
What a dumb baby whore.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
