That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
