fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
