I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
