I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
