he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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