He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
