there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
