I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
