So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
