what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
