birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
