this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
