I think I am morally bankrupt
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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