"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
When are your genitals available?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
