oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
