Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
